Monday, February 24, 2014

Universal truths flowing through my fingers

Recently the focus has been so much on the divine feminine and I am now understanding that the reason is this; spirit IS the divine feminine while ego is the divine masculine. Our focus changed centuries ago to developing the divine masculine (ego) for reasons none of us really know, and in that process we neglected out divine feminine. She has waited patiently for us to return to her as she knew that we would eventually realize that there is not wholeness in this world without the balance of masculine and feminine energy. The oneness that we all speak of these days is THAT. It is the sacred union of the divine masculine and feminine energy which creates us. Emotions are out of balance when the feminine energy is neglected, looked down upon, or completely ignored. While I am writing this it feels like I am teaching myself something that I have known for a long time, something that I learned far and long ago which is probably why this lifetime it comes so easy to me; I have studied universal law since I was born, and this explains why I experience so much frustration at times. I am a bodhisattva of the earth, and I have come to show compassion for the human race, and my struggle is to actually show the compassion instead of the anger. My lesson is to be humble, understand that not everybody is going to learn as quickly or even at all, that some have come down to experience other things. I have said this all before, and I will say it again and again until each and every one of my brothers and sisters is awakened to the true potential of oneself and the universe. It is vital that we give birth, rebirth to our feminine selves once more. If I can find a way to explain this process to a nonbeliever I would be considered a modern day Jesus, and there are times when I think that that may be my calling. All I know is that my connection to source is abundant and strong, and I can only get closer to the love. I ask myself "when will it finally be my turn to teach what I know" and I know that time will be soon. The more I receive from my feminine source, the more my masculine source will learn, and the better the oneness will be. My mantra: my soul and ego are one. My truth: love. Sure, I can feel the sense of worry, but that is merely somewhere inside of me that is choosing to be disconnected. I want to rekindle my connection where it is lacking. The more connected I am, the more people I can help. The more people I can help open up to better understanding of themselves and why they are here the better I will be. The more sense I can make to other people the more people I can touch. The more people I can touch more love will be spread. We must honor life, we must honor sacred tradition, without it we would not be here. The feminine came first, we cannot deny our roots. We can not deny our creator any longer. We must accept that magic within us, we must accept our ability to change. We must no longer fear love; release old patterns of doubt, release old patterns of fear. The time is now to let go of old belief systems, they no longer work in this day and age!!! Be who our mother made us to be!!! GOD IS A FEMININE AND MASCULINE ENERGY ALL IN ONE. Spirit and ego are GOD. Which means when we are whole we become god/ess.  Life is full of lies, but once you know the truth, there is no looking back. Don't let your fear tell you any differently (because it will try to, like it always does) just know that fear is an OLD belief system. Don't be afraid because you don't know, be curious and corageous enough to find the answers you need to grow! Follow your bliss, forgive others, live the sacred path, embrace your inner god/ess! The time is now! The time is NOW. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

my life uncensored


Today started off a little bit on the wrong foot. I woke up late (I had been doing that for the past two days because I have just moved and I am getting adjusted and I feel tired) and had to pull over to the side of the road to feed Iris because she was just not having it. In doing this it made me realize that I had forgotten the breast milk at home. So back up the mountain I went, already running late for school. I just kept doing positive affirmations in my head, and I didn't let this set back get to me... I've been doing that a lot lately and it has truly done wonders for my life. I get to school an hour and fifteen minutes late, and when I arrive I find out that my teachers Dad is dying... I instantly hug her. The day went rather well until around lunch when I was called in to give a massage which wasn't on my clinic day, and I was totally fine with it. I came out of the massage and it was time to go, I told the massage manager of the day that my client needed to lay for about five minutes and that I had to go because it was time for me to take Iris to the doctor. Five minutes down the road I get a phone call saying that I had a massage to give that day from the lady who I just saw in the office, and I had told her that I wasn't going to be the one giving her one today... I don't really want to go into details about what happened, but basically I ended up getting sucked into the black hole of "we have to handle a problem you created because you forgot some things and we are now going to be super mad at you" and ended up crying. They had no fucking compassion. Not one bit. Which made me realize that this world is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too filled with hate for me. Seriously, the problem wasn't even that big of a deal, in fact it was solved so quickly and without me being there, but they all still felt like "i made the program look bad" and that I wasn't taking care of my shit, and it really wasn't even that big of a deal. Nobody died, she got a massage, she was happy, and everything went about smoothly. Why in the WORLD do we have to treat each other with so much incompassion? Yet another lesson learned in the importance of compassion. Of course, I forgave them for they know not of what they do, and I have compassion for them because they were suffering in that moment....


My living situation has finally been solved! I am living in the woods on a ton of land in an awesome house with my friends Mike, Satori, and Avian. We are building a community center here, and it is going to be soooo fantastic!!!!! I am mostly excited because I don't have to worry about going anywhere for a really long time and I can just chill and manifest goodness.

My new job is pretty cool. I make 7.25$ PLUS tips and the atmposphere is quite alright. Not too bad, i can see myself staying there for a while.

I am definitely growing as a massage therapist. The massage I got last night was a real eye opener about how I can improve SOOOOO much. I really need to get on learning the attachments and such because I realize the importance of knowing all this stuff, to really help someone's body.

Bonnaroo line up comes out today, and I am 100% sure that my all time favorite band Modest Mouse will be there.


My life is fantastic and I have so much joy and wonderful times, and I would say minus the 5% of the day that I didn't recieve any compassion, 95% of my day was filled with so much love, compassion, and joy. So what some people just don't get it, that's why us boddhitsatvas are here, ya know... to teach the stubborn human race how to treat one another. I am gonna keep doing me, keep showing my love, and shining my light because I am fucking awesome regardless of the minor mistakes that I make... the perks of being a new momma.

Until Next Time,


Saturday, February 1, 2014

Speaking my truths

Well folks, the journey has been... Well the journey. 

I am not too sure where I last left you off, but let me tell you where I am now. I have been exploring myself, changing my belief systems, and expanding my consconciousness consciously for two years now, and it's funny how I totally forget that in order to release you have to follow a very much step by step process... I still try to skip steps, probably because i can see where the wave is taking me and I want to get there, but I must follow the process. Changing human DNA through positive thinking, rerouting our karmic spirals and letting the love in is a magic, a science, a solution to our problems. Doing the work means following your cycles, paying attention to your feelings, assessing yourself and why you feel that way. Becoming my own therapist has been the greatest healing modality for me, especially when nobody is available at that moment.... Literally just walking up to that emotion and saying "hey dude, why do you feel this way? What is it that you're not getting?" And usually the answer has something to do with not feeling loved, and being afraid to accept love because it was the people who loved me that hurt me... When I can stay objective to how i feel that's when I can get the work done. I have all these feelings towards old friends, old lovers, anybody who came in my life before I had iris, basically I have some attachment to some pain that I felt, and as much as I wish the pain would just go away, it doesn't. It stays until I fully let it express itself, until I let it grieve what it thought it had lost, or hadn't received, until I show compassion for myself, until I just let it all out, that is when I feel peace. It's like I am walking through all the dark parts of myself, while shining the light on it, and the light makes the darkness feel seen, which allows an open communication between self and ego. Ego has to express why it feels it can't do its job, and spirit shows ego that what was believed before is no longer true and can be let go of. When that happens I either feel an intense release or I cry it the fuck out. And when I cry I sob as loud as possible and when I do that I feel the love of god/ess fill me up and bring me closer to it. This shadow work that I do is probably the most important thing I am doing; by changing my belief system, balancing my chakras, and letting my authentic self shine, I am changing everything around me. It's not about "who did this to us" as a human family we ALL have to take responsibility for the whole of negativity we fell into, we chose this, all great religions say that. Eve chose to ate the apple by choice.... God did not force her. We wanted this experience, and now we can go back.... We can be gods children through our actions not just through our words. Raise vibrations, experience love, it's needed. 

Until Next Time,