Standing on tables at McDonald's

Well New Orleans, LA was our first stop; then we decided to head back to Chattanooga to grab a few things, and I have finally made the decision to go to Florida to be with my partner. But that's not where we're at right now. Just outside of Atlanta, GA have absolutely no money, and we are taking the negative energy from our bodies and transforming into gasoline so we can fuel our trip (if you don't believe in magic, i'm sorry). We decided to stop at the McDonald's (of course, where else would we go) so I could message my friend on the FB and see if we could crash at her place.
I would like to start off by thanking McDonald's for having wifi and a table for me to sit at. As I was logging onto facebook a youngster of the age of 4 let his excitement get the best of him, and allowed his beautiful star balloon to fly up to the ceiling. I was pleasantly reading my messages, and being bold, helpful Olivia I decided to pop my head in and ask "I bet I can get it". I absolutely love climbing things, it's one of my hobbies (esp when I'm in restuarants), and I stood on the railing to reach for the balloon. My joy and excitement of standing got the best of me...
And I didn't fall.
Instead I knocked the balloon to the other side of the ceiling, residing over the table I had been sitting at.
"would it be okay if I just stood on this table" I didn't want my nasty bottom of the black flip flops I've been rocking since Burbon Street to mess up the delicacy of the McDonald's table, and besides what would customers think of a hippie/gpysy queen from Chattanooga, TN standing on a table? Regardless of my doubts, I was supported by the desperate mother to help her young tike, so I stood on the table and made myself known to all the hick-bums enjoying their mcdoubles and fries.
My short lived fame landed me in no trouble, and I was deeply appreciated by the mother and her young tike. Standing on tables to help the needy at McDonald's is the beginning of this journey I'm embarking on, and "I am opening up in deep surrender to the illuminate light of the one". I know that whereever I am going, whatever I am doing that it's all going to be okay and everything I need to have happen is happening. I am the creator of my world, and I allow God to create for me. I will be in and out of blog service- but every single time I write I plan to talk of my travels, and express myself creatively. I'm so appreciative of the internet, I can now document all of the experiences I'm going to have and share them with my friends!
Until next time,
-Olivia

re-creation

The destruction period of the past has almost come to a close, now is the moment of truth; will I recreate myself in a positive light and fulfill all of the dreams I have, or will I trip and fall for going to fast and not realize what's actually going on? Well of course it's the first one! As afraid as I am to recreate myself I know that it's necessary. There are a lot of things I love about old Olivia, and there are a lot of insecurities, fears, and overall unproductive parts of my life that need to go. The destruction period is always the hardest; being honest with yourself, telling yourself what you like and don't like, why you like it and where you're coming from. There are so many things we can be, and there are so many costumes I have created for myself, and roles that I want to play out, but I must prioritize first. I have to be organized in my creation process. I'm still transforming, but I know that when I'm ready to go, the gravy train will move and I will be the best damn business owner in all of Chattanooga. No more running from my dreams because I think I can't achieve them. Do I need a man to be with right now? Do I want a man to be with right now? I guess I'm about to go find this out. I'm coming back to Chattanooga, just going on a mini-vacation to Florida this weekend. I need to let go, discover who I really am, and allow that light to shine bright! I hope you faithful bloggettes have a wonderful weekend, and I will keep you posted on the re-invention of myself; I know that this girl is going to stick around for a while, so no need to fear if I'll be here. All of you Chattanoogans have a great time at the Flock Party, flap your wings and fly for me!
Until Next Time,
-Olivia

Groovy

Do you ever just get the feeling that something great is going to happen? After a two hour crying session and letting go of old angers and hurts and sorrows of my childhood I packed up all my stuff to move out of the apartment I've been staying in for the past couple of days. I was laying on the couch reading Life of Pi (which I suggest you all should read) and I just had the urge to get up and go. I put on my pink, fluffy jacket... because it's snowing outside, damn Tennessee weather, and headed to UTC campus. Even though I'm not taking classes this semester I'm still enrolled so I hopped on the computer and now here I am.
I just have this amazing feeling within me that something amazing is in the works of happening. The past couple of days have been quite bumpy, but it was definitely the push I needed to head the right direction. I have finally come to the conclusion on what life I want to create, after opening many doors for myself, I know which way I am going.
It feels good to close the other doors, and as I do I know that more will open in the direction that I want and need to go in. I am pursuing my gift of healing, and massage school is starting in August! I cannot wait to get back into school and start learning about the body, all the muscles!!!
Throughout this lesson I've learned so much; what to do and what not to do. I have discovered many powers hidden within me, and although I wanted to activate all of them, I realize now that I don't have to do everything at once. I have created order within my life, the Divine Wisdom has guided me, and now my inutition is filled with love and fullfillment. The feeling within is definitely going to be shown without. Having a family one day is probably the most important thing to me, therefore cleaning up my family's karma is important so my children will have better. I use my future children as motivation to pay off all of my debts and student loans, create financial stability and a great home to raise my children in one day. I have had this complex for quite sometime that it was ultimately my job to become famous and spread the message of the Word of God to all who could hear. I'm letting that go, because in all honesty being famous sounds super stressful... and I can share my message with everyone I meet. My name will always live on forever because of this blog, because of facebook, what a GREAT thing our ancestors pioneered for us! What a great way to release the suffering of it all! I know that all the college kids out there who read my blog can relate to the pressure of figuring out what the hell to do, and here is my advice to you. Follow your intuition, follow your heart, and allow the One Life to show you your gift, because we were all born to do something, and through that something we will touch as many people as we need to.
Until Next Time,
-Olivia

Time and Space

There is always the moment in time when you realize that you're still here on Earth. I have a vision. I want to put this vision into action. How do I do it? You just do it, right? You have the will power to do all the things you want to do, and you have the creative talent... why not just do it? I need a good space. I'm waiting for the right time. The time is now. I'm waiting for the right space. There is always space. How incredibly important it is to contribute to society. I would rather run. I want my name to be put in lights for all the things that I'm doing. I want my creative energy to flow into the projects I want to do. I want to create so much for the world. I need focus. I have focus. I need to write. I do write. Time and space are all still existing, Mother Earth is still spinning, and I'm still here. Fear. Fear of succeeding. Fear of failing. Fear of being judged. I'm going the right way, I'm doing the right thing. I keep telling myself that it'll be fine, you can't make everybody happy all of the time. I'll get through this time and space, and I'll exist elsewhere when the time comes. It all comes down to doing what I actually want to do. 1. Be a famous writer 2. own a hulahoop company 3. be a massage therapist 4. Work two jobs and make a lot of money to save up to travel Focus on the four things I want right now. I don't need to be the one giving advice right now, I need advice. I want to run, I want to run so fast and so far away from here. I want to just quit it all again; I want to go back to California and wake up on the beach everyday, knowing that I'm going to learn more and more about God. I can learn about God everyday in this time and space as well. Staying put. Motion. Patience. Being Patient with myself. Knowing that I'm capable of writing a book on my experiences in life. To everyone who is out there reading my blog, supporting my off the wall thoughts, I appreciate you. Thank you.
Until next time,
-Olivia

changing winds

So I love the curve balls being thrown at me right now. It's like I'm a warrior and everyone is like "Olivia, take more responsibility, we want to see you be responsible" and I'm all like "Alright, you need to see it.... let's put these words into action". As far as being responsible goes I've learned how to be irresponsible. Not only have I accumulated tons of debt for a 22 year old gal, but I've also am guilty of being irresponsible in the past with money. In other areas I'm super responsible. I'm great at finding jobs, and I'm always on time, I know how to apply for school, and I know the one secret that everyone in the world should know but doesn't; the thoughts that I am thinking are responsible for making my world, and once I weed out all the ill thoughts that have been fed to me since I was a kid (no offense, we're all victims of victims) I can now take responsibility for my life. Through becoming responsible for my life I am now becoming the controlling factor in all of what happens to me. I am in control of how I react to others, I am responsible for my income and my nessecities, but the great part about it is I know how safe I am! I am so grateful for my travels out west, because it taught me to trust the Divine wisdom that is ultimately guiding us all, and to know that if I am capable of letting go of things that I already have, they'll always come back. I let go of it all. I release all these emotions because they were never mine to begin with; this body is a rental, this body is the emotions, this body is what gives us the taste of life. We are all so attached to this body and the image that we portray, and it's understandable as to why we would want to be, it's the only thing that makes it real! But what people do not understand is that our body, mind, and soul all need to be working together in order to have a harmonious relationship with yourself, as well as others. The mind is the controller of the body, but the body reacts to the mind, and sometimes the body does it's own thing when it needs to get a poison out and the mind isn't helping. The soul is what's inhabiting both, and these two are our vehicles to a successful life in this world. We should not be attached to the mind nor the body, because ultimately both are constantly changing... and we can choose to go with the flow, or we can fight the flow; and when we fight the flow with our mind or with our body, our soul gets lost; we forget where we came from. We forget who we really are. We find ourselves in the drama of life, and we are actually playing the part rather than watching ourselves play the part from birds eye view. Becoming an enlightened being is no easy task; in order to do so you must let go of everything that you've ever thought was yours, and start your walk with God. If you give it away, it doesn't feel as bad as if it were taken... That's all what we're down here learning; give and take. Mother Earth donating her entire body to allow us to play on her; and through that we developed the mind, and with the mind as our tool our soul was able to come down and experience the taste of life. The winds are changing, and I'm allowing the magic to unfold. I know that whatever happens, it's all gravy baby!
Until Next Time,
-Olivia

attempting the first novel...

I've started this story so many times, and because I want to tell all of the details I end up stopping myself, and not finishing.
As many of you know in August of last year I left college behind, and went on a spiritual sabbatical on the west coast; discovering so many spiritual truths through the great teachers I met as well as the amount of time I spent alone with Mother Nature. Because I was creating the experience, and so much was happening to me everyday it's difficult to re-create everything. Through this poem I am going to recapture my experience of being homeless for six months on the west coast of the United States.
Freeing. It was absolutely freeing the day that I said goodbye to everything that I had.
The tears falling down my face when I said goodbye to my mom.
The racing thoughts of what would happen once we got out to the west coast.
Driving. Driving as fast as we can to get as far away as possible.
Stopping every few hundred miles.
Eating Adderall to stay awake. Chain smoking to pass the time on the road.
Fear. Absolutely struck with fear.
My partner in crime, she was the only thing that kept me from knowing that everything was going to be okay.
Octopus Project. Playing the same song over and over.
Driving to the beat of the drums.
Finally getting to Las Vegas three days later.
4am, sleep deprived.
Seeing Hunter S Thompson's spirit as I write about the Fear and Loathing I felt in Las Vegas.
Where do I even begin?
Driving through Utah.
Seeing my ancestors in the rocks, balling my eyes out as Mother Earth's story began to unfold for me.
Experiencing my astral body transform as my partner in crime tells her parents we have left Tennessee and are about a couple hours away from Colorado.
Deciding to be homeless.
Giving the car back in Boulder.
Sleeping at the Greyhound Bus Station.
Getting our first dose of west coast travelling kids.
Headed to San Francisco.
There are some things you just have to experience for yourself to fully understand the feeling one can get when the emotions are provoked correctly.
Running away from home is one of those things.
As I continue you to explore my emotions, understand how to comprehend/communicate clearly, the story will get better. San Francisco is where it all began. Portland is where it all ended. The ups and downs, and in between are personal; emotional really. Recapturing the moment I met my first love while slack lining in the plaza of Arcata, CA. Tripping acid in the redwood forest, completely releasing all fears and worries to the trees as I balled my eyes out. How am I to do this? How am I to write a best selling novel on such a personal experience? It can and will be done. Until then, I'm going to keep dropping hints about the trip on my blog... keep you guys intrigued, right?
Until next time,
-Olivia

Taking Action

Taking action.
Applying what I know to my life, creating my world through my thoughts.
Sharing my knowledge with the masses; everybody deserves to know.
Set yourselves free from the mental slavery that was put upon you with no mistake.
Now is the time to express yourself creatively, spread your messages of love in any way you want to!
Allowing the magic to unfold, pushing forward, ignoring the road blocks, finding a way around them.
Letting go, dying every day.
God is living through me in every way.
Having a direction, seeing how the past created my present, which is creating my future.
Only exisiting in one time and space, but the details are so important to see.
Enhancing my senses, using them to my advantage.
Taking back what was mine in the first place, sharing my message of freedom with all that is around me.
Balancing my chakras, taking deep breaths.
Meditating to find out the answers that I want.
Getting in touch with my spirit, discovering more and more each day.
Learning to communicate my message of love, hope, peace, and harmony in all the languages of the world.
Speaking with my body, knowing how she moves and works.
I am safe to exist in this time and space.
I am safe to take action in the way that I want to.
Words are magic; if you think it, it MAY happen, if you say it, it WILL happen...
we always have the capacity to change anything we don't like in the present moment through positive affimations, faith, and trusting the process of life.

well, i guess this is growing up.

Responsibilities.
What are they? Where did they come from? Why did we make them? And where is there such a heavy feeling of guilt when one does not complete a said responsibility? How do we know what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility?
Starting at the home, based on what my parents told me there were a lot of rules and regulations, but I was never told why there were these rules and regulations, which constituted responsibility. Let me give you guys an example.
My roommate's laptop got stolen from our apartment the other day, and I was the last one to use it. I was using it outside and he came home, and just as the laptop died I put it in my hand and brought it inside. About eight hours later he asked me where the laptop was, and it was nowhere to be found... I instantly felt a wave of guilt hit me, and I didn't know what to do but get angry. I yelled and asked God what to do, and it has taken me up until this moment to realize this; that I am not responsible for anybody else's problems but mine in the sense that it is not my job to fix other people's problems for them. Let me break it down.
I have this theory, and the theory goes like this. The apple that Adam and Eve ate from the tree was what brought about sin, but instead of calling it sin I'm going to call it the taste of life, which transfers into the emotions our mind creates for our body. Tasting life is the luxury that was given to us after Adam and Eve ate the apple... and through that Heaven and Earth were divided inside of our consciousness as well as our physical world, thus creating Babylon (i.e: the material world). Eating the apple was a necessary evil, and the consequences were heavy; the oneness of life was lost, thus duality began. Morals of what is right and what is wrong, who is good and who is bad, became a social normality, and now it's 2013 and the Indigo Children are here to restore Heaven once more. Thus I beg the question, is responsibility just a part of the duality; is it necessary to take on others' responsibilities because they need your help and you feel guilty for receiving help from them so you do it for them? Is that stunting their growth process as a human being?
If I were God this is what I would say to me: "Olivia, for so long you've taken on being responsible for your mother's sadness, and although it is important to repay your debt of gratitude to your parents, you are already doing so by healing your body. Your mother lives through you, and you do not have to make it your soul responbilitiy to take on her darkness's, and others alike, to heal them. You are not the cause of everything in everybody's life, they are manifesting their life as well, and although you can be an influence, it is their choice to accept the energy and apply it to their own life. You can not apply life to other's life... you're one person. Take responsibility for yourself, and the rest will follow".
So as far as responsibility goes when I make a commitment to something I want that commitment to be for me as well as the benefit of others... I want to be considerate of myself, and realize that I am not Jesus Christ (quite yet) and I do have my own healing process to go through. We all have our own healing processes to go through, and the best way to help is by supporting one another, and allowing Divine wisdom to guide us. It is through this that we will achieve the goal that we are all aiming toward. I'm going toward the light, I'm living in the love, I'm allowing my creative energy to flow and I am ready to go!
Until next time,
-Olivia

The Wind

it blows you one way, then the next thing you know you're creating your life.
every thought is manifesting before your eyes
every breath you take is another switch in direction.
The awareness of the vibrations.
the expressions of life running through you.
given too much power too quickly, you might be afraid of what you can actually do...
next thing you know, things are actually happening to you...
and it's ALL REAL.
The wind creates balance.
The balance creates synchronicity.
With these forces you can take control of your life.
God gives you the power he created, and through accepting this power, we have the opportunity to become God.
We are no longer God's creation, we are a part of the creating with God.
As the wind blows, I continue to go with the flow.
Growing accepting learning.
I am safe.

It happened, just as it always does.

We destroyed ourselves... well at least we tried.
In a matter of three months of a summer we were all done with what we had created, and it was over.
Some were sad.
Some were mad.
Some didn't give a shit.
Others were just ready to fucking go.
Now it's march, and the family we have created hasn't talked in months.
It was supposed to be this way.
We created it this way.
I created it this way.
I wanted nothing to do with any of you anymore, but didn't know how to speak to myself in a way less destructive.
Hearts were broken.
Shit that wasn't mine in the first place was taken.
I found what I wanted to find.
We all found what we wanted.
sure the road was a biiiit bumpy, and we thought we were never gonna get off the rollercoaster.
But guess what?
It happened, just as it always does.
I took those steps knowing that one day I'd be okay.
I let it go, everyday or every second...
I let it go.
It feels gone.
And I'm okay with that.
I realized how easy it was to close the door, wave goodbye, and let go of the guilt of doing so.
Spring is here.
Winter is gone.
The birds are chripping,
and this season I'm going to sing along.
PEACE.

yoga classes and ex-boyfriends

Good morning world!

I hope everyone out there is having a lovely, lovely Thursday morning! I don't know if any of you out there do yoga, but I went to my first hot yoga class last night and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. Sweating and stretching my body with 25 other people couldn't have been more of a spiritual experience than going to India. Yoga Landing recently opened up in Chattanooga and their first class is complementary, and I just so happened to walk by and poke my head in and come to find out they were having a DJ and hot yoga at six!

You see, I have this ex-boyfriend. I met him while I was traveling... and through that traveling we became very close, but the fighting was annoying and the way he didn't comb his hair got on my nerves too. Although he didn't mind me doing yoga and practicing massage and reiki on him he cared about the way I presented myself to the world and how my emotions were overflowing all the time. Needless to say, my healing process was intense, and I don't blame him for breaking up with me in the middle of San Rafael, CA (he threw my backpack at me and ran away from me so I couldn't find him). Now that I'm back home and he's in Florida he and I have been doing this whole dance of "hey let's get back together" and "i'm still open to the possibility of us" and "uhh... I don't think we're going to work out" and "we're just not on the same page, or equally YOLKED". Being a huge preacher of "your thoughts manifest your world" I am beginning to wonder why in the hell I created this.

At yoga class last night I went into a state of what I'm now going to call "sweaty yoga dreaming" (it can be compared to day dreaming), and through this state I saw the life I wanted to live in ten years: Owning my own business, being a certified yoga instructor, massage therapist and reiki certified, and married to the ex-boyfriend to top things off. I imagined him doing yoga with me at my studio, and helping me with my business selling hula hoops. More so, just being completely in love with my life and with the partner I have chosen to be with for the rest of my life... which brings me to this; Monogamy. Am I too young to even be thinking about a monogamous relationship? Am I ready for the responsibility of sharing my emotions with someone else if I don't even know which emotions are actually mine to share in the first place? Have I explored my sexuality enough to know what I like and how I like it and if my ex is a perfect fit to be with for the rest of my life? No, no, no, no, no! DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. Fantasizing can turn into a creation, which can turn into your life, and when you get to that point and you're there and you realize "oh shit, I was never ready for this" or "oh shit, I didn't even want this in the first place" you're still in luck, actually. BUT. I would rather just avoid all the hassle of this game and no longer play it. With that said, any of you out there with ex-boyfriends who you're on again and off again with, there's a reason; and we all know it. I'm bored, and lonely, and filling a gap that needs to filled, but it doesn't need to be filled by him any longer. If it were supposed to happen it would have happened, if it is going to happen, then it will, but for right now I'm sticking to my sweaty yoga classes and vibrator as a means of love until I can confidently say that I know what I like, how I like it, and when I want it.

Until next time,

Olivia

Morning Time

Somedays I wake up to the dream of life and am completely silent in my mind, all the crickets are chirping and the birds singing and it's as if I am snow white running through the forest waiting for something awesome to happen. Somedays I wake up with a million and one thoughts running through my head, and today was one of those mornings.

I would first like to start off with the fact that I haven't been very clear in my communication to the blogging world, and I want to perfect my writing so I can reach as many people as possible. I am learning much through the introspective process of studying The Self through meditation, yoga, and introverted thinking; not saying much about what's going on in my head... When I come and sit down to write I am aiming towards an audience who understands exactly what language I am speaking and where I am coming from, however I am quickly realizing that there isn't much progresson because people don't know what I'm talking about. I need to find a good starting point for people who are completely unaware; taking a more simplistic approach.

We are all born into a certain family, and through our years of growing up with them we begin to see the things they deem as right or wrong, good or bad, yes or no and because our family is our main source of proof that we are actually existing in this Time and Space, we take what they say and we install it into our harddrive called our brain. Now most of what you have learned by the time you're five years old you will have already forgotten by your birthday, but that does not mean they are not still there. The subconscious is where they go, and that's where they will stay if you want them to. I would confidently say that over half of the population in 2013 has come from a broken home, and even if there are no problems in your family there are still problems within your life. Would you all not agree? I was one of those people, stressed about my future, money, marraige, where I was going in life, what I was going to be doing until I freed my mind. I was lucky enough to realize that something was wrong with me before it was too late and I had no chance of turning back. I can't really tell you the time, minute, second, day or year that I woke up to God but I do know that Its presence and essence are what have created my life today. It was through this awakening to the One Life that I began to realize that life didn't have to be hard, in fact it was made to be easy. Through many of translations of the Bible (on purpose, but we won't go into conspiarcy theories today) what Jesus was attempting to communicate to his people was lost; but nothing can ever be lost forever... or really at all. More so, misinturpreted as a means of mind control based on the population of undereducated people. Luckily Jesus knew what he was saying when he told his people that he would be back, but they would not know the time, day, year, or month of his arrival. Since is departure Jesus has been arriving through millions of people across the country (minus the local media stations, or anything in popular culture) and showing them the way into the gates of Heaven. I am one of those chosen few pepole. At such a young age I am now able to experience the life Christ created as well as the Buddha, Mahommad, and before any of them the gods who came down to establish Heaven for the One Life. We are called the Indigo Children, and we are not a myth, we are real. We are here to restore Heaven, to re-create the magic of life, to save the world for all of our brothers and sisters in humanity! Through this blog and through you reading this we are being noticed, we are regaining our power and taken back what was originally are's anyway. I highly suggest that everyone and anyone who reads this blog and has more questions as to how to become an enlightened being and awaken to the true potential of the self they walk a spiritual path; open your mind to all that's out there, release all boundaries your parents set up for you out of love, now is the time for us to explore what's out there and find out what's really good for us!

Until next time,

-Olivia

The Truth

It's what I seek.
More than anything do I care about is the truth.

Once you know the truth, you realize how easy it is to forget the details of the truth.

As I was watching a documentary with my friends about how Martin Luther King Jr. struggled so hard to do so much throughout his battle that he felt as if he had only moved boulders, and had not reached the level of which what he wanted; and it was this: to live in a place where God created ultimate peace. He wanted to understand why there was so much evil in his brothers and sisters. He understood the collective-consciousness, he knew the only way to unite the people was to explain to people the One way. Think about this; Martin Luther King Jr was a preacher, and most likely a prophet of God. He knew spirituality like the back of his hand... he knew he was God's instrument, and he knew his dream was big and he wanted to share it. The adversity of Blacks needed a strong, faithful man to pull them up the ladder, and he ended up getting shot. Not many people knew of the dream when he began preaching of. Martin Luther King Jr knew of the chakra system, and he knew how to become an enlightened being. Martin knew that his thoughts manifested his world, that everything he was thinking was becoming true right before his eyes. Martin knew where he was going, and he knew how he was going to get it. He wanted to see the TRUE Heaven that was created by God. His dream was of peace, love, happiness, joy and full pleasure. He understood the reality of the past his people had come from, the past his family had come from. He saw the suffering, he understood that something major had to be done in order to achieve greater racial equality in the United States... and to allow his people to awaken to the amazing life that was created for ALL PEOPLE to enjoy. He wanted to communicate his message clearly, he wanted people to understand that everything they were thinking, saying, doing, and feeling was manifesting before their eyes, and due to their resisting of change to realize that God (Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the South... GOD) was INSIDE THEM. And in order to FULLY LIVE you must access the power through the chakra system... through eating healthy, through yoga, through contemplation, through meditation, through witchcraft, through SOMETHING OTHER THAN GOING TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY AND EATING A TON OF FATTY FOOD BECAUSE IT'S COMFORTABLE. It's about time the South wake up to the ways of the groovy west coast... that's right put away your tractors, and get your asses online and start looking up stuff that can help you understand the ACTUAL phenomena OF WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON. We are the Indigo Children, we are the ones who are here to recreate the big dreams that are finally coming to a close so we can move forward. We are the beginning of the generation to completely change the human consciousness. Our ancestors are watching, they are encouraging us to move forward with our lives in love, praise, gratitude, and joy; to re-create everything in a positive way. There is no reason for life to not be changing constantly, there is no reason to turn on your fear senses and be afraid of what's happening to you. It's happening, and those of you who know out there what I'm talking about, you also know that it starts within you. In order for a full shift in an entire population to happen there must be many, but the few who know what they are doing must stick close together. The time is now to create peace. We are here now to create an amazing truth about life, and the answers will flow through us as we continue to open up to the one life. We are here to create a love land, a safe haven. a place where there is healing everywhere. Martin wasn't the only person who understood; Plato, Decartes, Nitchize, Buddha, Jesus, for decades people have known the Secret. The doors being opened are only continuing to expand, and the learning curve is continuing to swing down. We are gaining more and more knowledge from within ourselves, and are now are able to contact our ancestors who have been here many many times before to help us understand if we are doing it better. God has opened the door, and now the winds are changing. They will only continuing changing. The game of life is not to meant to be taken as a literal lifestyle, the only lifestyle; we are made as a human race to grow and to expand, and there are many ways to find the expansion. The Truth will be revealed. Just you wait.

What the fuck, I'm going to the moon?!

It's 2013. We've done a lot of amazing stuff on this planet we call Earth. From electricity to lamborginui's it's been a wild ride in the progression of human kind on Earth. She has taken so much of our negative energy we have produced since the Beginning and harvested it within her own body (causing volcanoes, hurricanes, and tornadoes to occur) eventually having to spit out all of the (think about inhaling and exhaling) energy killing her children as sacrifice. She's tired. We've used her for so long. And now she is ready for us to leave- so she can be created new. That's right folks- the end of the world is here; there is nothing more to be harvested on Earth. Our supplies are low, our people are moving slower than before, and it's time that the conscious one's take action. There is so much space int he world, but what about all the time and space in the universe that has YET to be explored? What if there are other Earth's we can explore with much more to offer? A planet with enough space to create loving experiences freely and openly. A planet where paradise exists everyday. In this lifetime I will be leading a group of people on a space excursion to the moon, and through this journey will we not only discover more about ourselves, but we will learn where we truly came from and find the sister planet that was created for us by the Gods to move to when the time was right. The time is now. Action is being taken. People are already starting to realize that there isn't much more to be done on Earth, and we should go out and find new things. I say let's do it! Until next time, -Olivia

Mother Earth

I want to create and destory, create and destroy. I want to build, and rebuild, build and rebuild. I am a monster. I am a princess. I am a beauty. I am a beast. I'm not too sure if anybody can or will ever understand me, and I'd like to keep it that way. There are many names for me. Some call me God, others the Universal power, but I truly go by the name of Mother Earth. Whatever you think my power is, let me tell you really what I hold over your heads. I am a feminine energy. The aliens are the masculine energy. They came down here rape my body for valuables. Fortunately enough they ended up falling in love with the beautiful world I had created, and stayed for a while. My daughters were in awe of the beauty they were seeing as well. These people with magical powers, ripped bodies, and a gential toy unlike any they had ever seen before; and that's where the repopulating began, and thus the mind was born. The two parts work well together, and are in complete unision as long as you can recoginze the power both hold over you; I can make you drop dead at any second if you allow your mind to take over me. Through you I live. I gave you a body to feel the phenomenion of what's ACTUALLY going on. All of the answers you need are laying in your vehicle, just look around. You need me. Your soul needs me. Your mind needs me. Do not be fooled however; I need you as well. Without the mind and the soul I would be Death. Work with me. Listen to me. Care for me. Help me deal with all these twists and turns I feel. If you listen to me, if you feel me, I'll guide you in your healing process. Pay attention to the pains and pleasures you feel. Understand the power of the mind; watch your thoughts. Care for your mind as much as your body. Rely on your soul to tell you who you REALLY are... Because unfortunately my dear children, your body is owned by me and you cannot take it with you when you go back to your Father in the sky. You are down here to heal all the damage that has been done. I do not blame you, for I allowed this to happen, but I am now taking my power back. I CAN AND WILL destory you all if you do not perform for me. And that's the truth. I know many of you hear me, and are performing the gift your Father gave you to help me heal. Our love affair is incomprehensible. If you understand unconditional love you'll understand there is no logical answer for it. We share our love story with you, so you can have a love story of your own. In due time all of the answers to your questions will be revealed, and my true story of how I was created will be told.

The of the I AM Presence

Present Time:

Letting go of old patterns; organizing my thoughts; seeing the flow, accepting the flow; going with the flow. Impatience. Are we there yet? Even if we were, the flow keeps going. I have chosen my direction- I am going to the top. The Illuminati; the illumined beings who exist with us, but seperate at the same time. I know better than to make a plan, life lets it happen in the perfect time and space. I am so big in the world; everyone knows me, or has seen me, and wants to know more. Yet, I am so small. I am one particle existing in this place we call Earth. I am one part of the whole picture. I want the whole picture to be on the same page.

I want to know

-I woke up this one time when I was a kid and I saw that my mom wasn’t there. I was absolutely terrified; she was my protector, my rock, my guide in life and she had left me alone at the house. I went into my brother’s room and I laid down next to him and held him. I remember trying to wake him up but he was sleeping so hard, I felt completely alone and terrified. I wanted my mom to be there right now and she wasn’t. It was right after my dad had left. I just felt so afraid and anxious… what if my mom was dead, and my dad was already gone and wasn’t coming back, and I didn’t know why. All I had was my little brother and he was so peaceful and I wanted that peace of mind, but I felt like I had to be the protector, the big girl… I had to become a big girl so fast; there was no more childhood left for me after my dad left. I remember my mom came home that night after a couple of hours… I don’t know why I have always had this anxiety issue; it comes from being separated from something at birth… being separated from God when I came back down. Being separated from others; being separated from my true authentic self. Understanding that the darkness exists, but knowing that the moon will always be there to help me get through the night. It was right after Micheal broke up with me, and I had just made it back to San Diego. I had nowhere to sleep that night, so I found a place in the woods, laid out my sleeping bag, and talked to God. I was less fearful that night and slept okay because I knew that Mother Earth and Father God were with me; I talked to them and I told them to protect me. I felt completely unprotected by my parents when I was younger; I just got slammed with separation anxiety when I was kid, and now I’ve carried with me for 22 years. I’m at the point where I’m so ready to let it go, I’m sick and tired of allowing this dysfunction to hurt me. I want to know that I’m not alone, I want to know that I’m safe at night, I want to know that when I sleep I’m completely protected. I want to know that it’s okay when people I love and adore and hang out with all of the time go about their way and do their own thing and leave me to do my own thing… I want to know that. I want to trust that. I want to be that. I want to know that everybody loves me. I want to know that I am loved and adored by all who are seeing my heal right now. I want to know that I love my emotions. I want to know that my emotions are not me, but a part of me that exist for a very good reason and are here to help me not to hurt me.

Lost

I can't imagine a world without cars, planes, trains, and the vast transportation we have nowadays. How did we get to this point? Have we always been here? History shows all the terrible things that have happened, throughout the world, but the funny thing is... Olivia Claire Madlock wasn't there. Was my soul there? If my soul was there, can I remember what I went through? Do I want to remember? Will it help the healing process?

I woke up at 212am to an empty house, and my roommates car gone. I instantly slipped into the anxious place I used to go to when I would wake up and my mom wouldn't be at home. Pure fear. I tried to go back to sleep, I called everybody a couple of times, I didn't want to be alone... espceially not at night. I went back to sleep and woke up at 11am. Dark images of a terrible car accident involving my roommate were playing through my head. I had to know where they had gone. I walked to the house where I thought he might be. As I walked I started asking myself why I feel this way; my intuition was filled with so much fear and anxiety. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know where I was going. I was just following this terrible gut feeling most of the time. That's when I realized that my intution isn't always right... in fact, it's almost always wrong. My heart stopped beating so quickly once I saw the car at the house. I sat down in the grass. I knew that my anxitey issues were something that came from a past life, and from this life which is why they were carried upon me now. I wanted to heal them. I want to heal myself fully. I'm so tired of this bird's eye view that I have, but when I come back down from flying around seeing my life from God's perception, I miss it. It's so scary sometimes though... I feel so unreal. I feel like I'm a robot being controlled by something that I know nothing about. Is that what's happening? We can say that we know God, but have any of you ever seen God? My sketical nature is rearing its ugly head in order to ground me back down into this world. I can go up up and away, and I may get lost if I don't have a compass or map to know where I'm going. I want to focus on the life of Olivia rather than the life of others right now, because let's face it there is A LOT I want to do. I want to let go of all these creative blocks I have, and I want to create something amazing for myself... something long lasting, worthwhile, and enjoyable. I'm so grateful for everything that I already have. It's time that I let go of whatever needs to be let go of. Until Next Time, -Olivia

The Journey to Love

I started writing a third person male perspective of what I thought love might be, but I quickly came to realize that I cannot write that, because I am a woman.

So here I am, and I'm calling to the cosmos and I'm asking them what love is. I have had the same concept/thought form of what love is since I was ten years old (I would like to thank MTV's Real World cast of Las Vegas for teaching me) and now that I'm 22 I am starting to see that my life in 3D is not what I thought it would be, and my idea of love is unhealthy, outdated, and plan right annoying now. I have restarted my sexuality; and by going back to square one the healing process begins. I know what can take me to the esctay that I want to feel from love, and I'm starting to gain better grasp.

Feeling the body. Soft. Pure. Smooth. I want to feel more. I know I can. The waves are so intense. The emotions are boiling over; the pasta has been cooking too long. I can't help but wonder if I'm just watching, or if something inside of me is actually going on. None of what I feel makes sense, my words are jumbled because I do not want to comprehend the emotions; the creative ablity. Nothing about my emotions is sexy. I am filled with anger, sorrow, pain, guilt, remorse, and down right saddness. I know that if I can get through the saddness and the anger I will find the love I am looking for. Until then bloggettes, I'll be checking out. I'll be back when I can produce something amazing. Until Next Time, -Olivia

The Journey to Love:

“I write” she said putting her pen to her lips. I couldn’t help but find the undertone in her voice when she said this. Who was this woman? More importantly why was I so intrigued to speak to her. I took a sip of my tea and set it back down on the table. Her blonde hair made her baby blue eyes pop out, and the red lipstick didn’t help make my half-erected penis any less inclined to be used. I adjusted my crotch. “eemmm… excuse me. What do you write” there was a frog in my throat, of course. It always happened when I was hitting on attractive women. There was just something about them, and I didn’t know what it was. As if I had to talk to them, just to get them in the bed with me… when I would have rather just walked up and said “hey, do you wanna fuck?” and that be that. But women, they like the idea of romance. They always wanted to be wooed and awed and mind blown by the men who wanted to flop around inside them… it was their way of testing us to see if we were worthy. The experience of sex was probably more intense for them, though. Something I would never experience, but I didn’t mind. I wanted to experience it this way as a man in this lifetime, so I’m rolling with the punches. “Erotica, mostly. Have you read 50 shades of grey” Was she being serious? My dream woman WRITES EROTICA. Me and the man downstairs had come into an agreement, we would only have sex with women who were intelligent, because there needed to be something to talk about at breakfast. “yes, yes I have… um, pretty intense book”. I became more comfortable and scooted my chair closer to her. I touched her leg under the table. She didn’t flinch. We had only been talking for one hour, and she hadn’t rejected any of my smooth lines. As I lay my hand on her thigh suddenly there was a huge smack in the Crown Chakra from God. Shot out of this reality; I stayed cool. She was really digging me, and I didn’t want any spirits coming down ruining the one night stand I was about to have. I remained calm. “So, you wanna get out of here” she said leaning forward and pursing her lips. I nodded. We got up and started walking toward our cars. I knew that I had to take what the spirits were going to tell me, and there was no fighting listening to them anymore. I activated my Root Chakra to remain grounded and entered my Heart Chakra to connect with my soul. The conversation started within my head. “There is a difference between lust and love my friend… you have been able to mistake the two for quite sometime, but now you’re getting older… you want to settle down. But you don’t know how to do it. Here is the crash course” I didn’t bother asking which spirit I was talking to, it didn’t really matter, I knew that it was here to help me. “Lust is for the devil, it’s his form of love. He uses it to get what he wants from people, which is their positive energy; you see God gave the Devil all reign over this 3 dimensional plane, and he took as much as he possibly could. He understands that he can never have anybody’s soul, because he is not God… but he can have a lot of power in the moment if you choose to obey him.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The devil was actually a real spirit? “Yes, yes the devil is real… but not in the way he is described by people these days. He does much for us, really”. The girl I had just left with started mumbling something or other about how she needed new shoes, I nodded and continued listening to the spirit. “you don’t really need this girl, anyway. She’s a beauty alright, but you’re looking for love right?” Hmmm… “yes” I said out loud as if I were answering the girl. “God is Love. God can show you love. You need to open your heart and your sexuality to love. It is the one thing the devil will never be able to give you, which sucks for him! He’s dammed here forever! Go this way, the way of the enlightened, be with God, shine the light on all you see. Trust me, young grasshopper, it’s the way to go” I knew this spirit was right. I needed to find out more about God and how it was possible for me to shine the light on the darkness of the world. “Hey, I just realized I have some important things to tend to… maybe another time” she was startled as I walked away “Uhh… bye!” I said. And that’s where my journey began… the quest to understand Love and where it came from.

Creative Power

Recently my roommate and I have started to take in the homeless; it's been an interesting joureny thus far. Our first experience was with a random ICP (Insane Clown Posse) junkie named Joe. He was 18 years old, and had come from West Virginia to the homeless shelter right across the way. Being the loving person I am, I invited him to come on to the porch... and being the loving person Troy is, he invited him to live with us. I had yet to set boundaries for my life, so I went with the flow. It wasn't until after the late nights of him staying up playing zombie games on the X-Box and watching porn whenever did I change my mind about the situation. The night all the 16 year old girls came over to "have a party" Joe came in the room and said "Hey do I look okay" and that was my first taste of being a mother to an 18 year old kid... I said "yes, honey! you look great" and later threw up after he walked out of the room. I knew I couldn't ask all these little kids to leave, so I created the exit scene within my mind; I began with mantras... "I want all of these little girls to leave, and joe to go with them" I repeated these words to the flow of my mind, and when it felt right I went and tackled the setting. I took the girls chair in the corner and sat next to Troy. As I watched as they all interacted I continued repeating the mantra, and when nothing seemed to move as quickly as I wanted I began swimming with the flow. "Hey, I'm ready to go to bed so when you guys are ready please leave" I said matter of factly. They responded immideately and next thing you know Troy and I were in the car driving them to the hotel. As we drove off I felt an exhilirating rush of pleasure, I had just proved to myself how powerful my creativeness was. Now I'm sitting here in my apartment with a Train Kid I met this afternoon; his name is Matthew and he is 28. He has been hopping trains for two years, and HATES authority. "I fucking hate society dude, they expect you to fix in this box and they suck your soul out of you!" His aggression showed in a sensitive way, he knew how to respect other people. His stories of the amount of deaths he had seen frightened him when he talked about it, but never wanted to stop hopping trains... it was way too addicting, and a way of life. What he hadn't realized was that he had created a broken home for himself within his mind with no windows and no doors. He wanted a way out, I offered him the key to his heart; God. God comes in many forms, I gave him a shower, a place to sleep, food, coffee, water, weed, and even through in some reiki. That's when I realized, that the key can be given to anyone, and EVERYONE but it is our DECISION/CHOICE to use it. Free will is real, and having a peace of mind is a choice. You can not force anyone to make the choice, and few will enter into passage way. You must have faith that there is something out there that will give you everything you want, you must trust your creative power. You must trust your own voice within your own head. The choice is yours, will you use the key, or will you save it for another day, month, year, life?

Until Next Time,

Olivia

The Real

I have been on this journey since January 29th, 1991; the day I was born. Under a lunar elcipse my mom's stomach was cut open, and I was pulled out with seceptors, due to me holding onto her instense. I didn't want to come out. Through mediation I have discovered what it was like to be in the womb, and why and how and where and when all these little personality traits that I have came from. I know who Olivia is, and I know that I have no original thought of "my own" because the truth is we ALL pull from the same thought form, creating our lives completely intertwined, becoming One.

Have you ever asked yourself who you really are? I'm not talking about the words the make up who we are; the I'm a cheerleader, I'm a wife, I'm a husband, I'm an actor... because in real reality we are ALL all of those things. I'm talking about have you ever asked yourself who your soul is? Many have, and if you're reading my blog I know you know that I have. I know where Olivia came from; and she is the body and the mind... but even then she does not own those things, because the body is owned by Mother Earth, and the mind is owned by Father Sun (the body is the feminine and the consciousness is the masculine). If you know anything about the chakras Mother Earth's love comes from the root up, and Father Sun's love comes from the crown down, meeting her in the heart where their love affair begins. Sidenote, sorry. Anyways, what I was saying was this; How do we find out who our soul is? Psychics have told me they can see the images of my past lives written all over my round face; I was a follower of the Buddha, I was a yogi in India, I was a Veitnam fighter piolot who died in war, and I believe all of those things... I believe them because I can take the settings from this lifetime, put the puzzle peices together, and say "Yeah, that makes sense as to why I was born a Buddhist this lifetime". But now I'm to the point where not much else outside of me can tell me who my soul is; the time has come for me to go within. I am ready to SEE who my soul is.

I know I can reach my soul through meditation, and the upper three chakras, but there are many medicines out there that have been used by shamans for milleinums that can help the process. One of those medicines is DMT. Deimethyltriptamine is probably the most powreful psychedelic drug on the market, but in actuality it is the opening of the window to the soul. I have smoked it many times, but have never broken through (which proves how powerful the mind is; I was still in a state of fear of who I really was when I smoked it therefore I used my mind to stay grounded in this Earth), but I have heard many experiences of people who have. Some good, some bad, but it's what we make it.

The soul is what we actually consist of; it's where our individuality comes from, our differences, our gifts, and I"m beginning to believe in Zombie Theory, that some humans are only body and mind, but have no soul, and because of this Jesus was correct when he said approxmently 144,000 of us are actually of God and his children (the number is probably more than that, but not all of us our The Real). I must trust myself in order to meet my soul, and in doing that I must leave my mind and body behinding, knowing they will be here when I get back. If any of you have experienced who you REALLY are please let me know what your experience was like.

Poetry is on the way.

-Olivia

Winning

On the streets it was a lot easier; being around people who had no hope for the future. The alcoholics didn't really seem to mind that their main mission every single day was to wake up in the bathroom next to the beach, immidieately find some money, and hit the 24/7 liquor store on the corner of Bacon and Newport. That definitely wasn't the reason why I was doing all of this to myself. I was on a mission to find something; at first I didn't know what it was... I knew that I wasn't happy anymore, I couldn't handle the pressure of school, legalities, etc. but I also knew that there had to be something greater. My seach started with the youtube video God Is In the Neurons, which then led me to The Secret, and finally to positive affirmations in the book You Can Heal Your Life. After four months of being with people, I ended up in Ocean Beach, CA by myself. I had no idea what was going to happen, but there was one thing I did know; I was completely safe. I had gained enough knowledge from my inquiring mind to understand that what I was doing was for Mother Earth and God, so I ran with that idea and started the healing process.

After coming home and hearing my birth mother's stories about her running away in California and living on the streets, I came to the realization that my inquiring mind had actually been able to heal her past without me knowing what I was doing. When you have a dircetion, and you're sure about that dircetion, go with it! All roads lead to home. My direction just so happened to be the most direct thanks to the 1000s of lifetimes my soul has lived before.

All I can do is win. Every turn I take it's another point on the score board. Don't you guys want to live like that too? Don't you want to know what it's like to win ALL the time? Let me just say it's not the type of winning you may be thinking; of course balance is probably the number one rule in life, and on this plane. But if you take every "bad" day and turn it into a day of learning, understanding, and growing from your "mistakes" you will gain much more than you ever thought you could have. Take an effort, in fact MAKE the effort to be aware of what's going on in your mind and body. They are here to help our soul; they are our tools we use to learn the most. How lucky are we to be humans? How lucky are we to have a MIND?! It's vast, forever, infinity. I have so many ephanines every single day I can't keep track of what's happening, but it's a great thing. I am livng in Heaven, and once you're in the doors close behind you and there is no getting out; I'm okay with that. I want to live in Heaven for the rest of my life here on earth, as well as after I leave this planet. It's good to spend time alone, although I shyed it away for so long. Alone time is where it all comes to you. The most grateful moments I've had in my life have been when I was alone. Sure, you don't have anyone to wittness what's happening to you, but you can be your own wittness, which can be SO MUCH BETTER. There are some things that should be kept within you, just for you; save it for a rainy day.

I'm going to keep winning and I hope you all are going to keep doing the same. More to come.

Until Next Time

-Olivia

Transformations

One minute I'm a homeless girl in Southern California studying about God with a 40 year old rainbow kid, and the next I'm a 22 yeear old working girl living with my best friends in a one bedroom apartment and going back to school. The settings are different, the lessons are easier, but the mission is still the same; love. I've been through quite a few transformations within the past 8 months and let me tell you, I'm not the person you think I was, you think I am, or who you think I'm going to be. In fact, if you haven't seen me, you probably don't know me. If you have seen me, but have yet to transform your perception of me, then you're probably still looking at the same ol' Olivia you knew 8 months ago. But here's the thing, nobody stays the same. Everyone changes, and it's always a positive change. Change is a positive energy (scientificially right? You have to have a positive charge to change something), and if you go with the flow of the change you'll preceive the results as positive. However, if you're like most humans and are terrified of change you'll resist, resulting in negative outcomes for yourself. There is a way to make life a lot easier than many think it should be. I've found the way, I want to share the way with all who want to listen, and I want to communicate it to all people on all levels of life. Life is a joureny, and the journey always leads back to the one place we can call home, and that home is with God. The transformations we go through are important to our journey back home, we learn the most about ourselves, our souls, and God through this body and this mind. We were hand picked for this life, and we should appreciate every transformation we go through, because it's for a reason.

The homeless girl in Southern California didn't know why she ended up that way, and she didn't care; despite her resistence to the changes, she quickly learned it was going to happen anyway so she might as well roll with the punches. When that girl got to Portland, OR she was ready to be honest with herself, and when she was she was able to come home. I was that girl, no longer does she exist in this time and space, the new Olivia is here. I'm 22 years old, I work at Noodles and Compnay, and I'm going to be going to massage school in August. Life gave me a chance to hit the pause button so I could understand life and its transformations, because at the time they were all happening way too fast for my taste and I couldn't multi-task fast enough to understand what was going on.

A dove sat outside my window this morning. I heard the calls of the beautiful bird, I thought it was an alarm. "what's the noise" I asked. Kalika answered "it's a dove". I hopped out of bed and jumped with joy! The Decent of the Dove was here. I had finally found the dove I had been looking for! Dove's are a part of the power animals that are animal spirit guides. Doves represent serenity. In the book Power Animals "Conncecting to your Spirit Animal Guide" the author explains the Dove's message to humans, it goes a little something like this.

"My power is obviously not in my diminutive stature, shyness, or silly walk- niether is yours. Yet it's a type of power that surpasses the illusory power of anger, aggression, vengeance, greed, competition, and spitefulness. Even though it's quieter, gentler, and not always immediately apparent, it's the most potent force that any human being can experience. Yeah, you got it. Love. It's much simpler to love than most humans imagine, what with your ways of complicating what's true, right, and natural. You just do it. Let your love shine, and don't forget this part- let others love you. A lot of humans forget that to complete a circle you need something coming back to you, which love will. You just have to be ready to recieve it. In order to be able to do so, you have to open your heart and empty out any thoughts or feelings of blame, shame, or judgment. I'll help you release whatever prevents you from feeling the serenity and joy that results from making peace and harmony your number one priority. Please acknowledge and even appreciate the shawdows, but don't lose yourself in them or act them out. Shine the light of the Holy Spirit on them, and know all is well. I love you. We all love you".

As I read this out loud to my roommates I realized I had reached an amazing check point in my life; I had finally released all the guilt, blame, shame, anger, saddness I had from the past and am now loving myself fully. It's something to share because once you love yourself 100%, you can love others no matter the circumstance. It is easy to forget that Love is always number one, and even when we are in transitional periods, love always remains. I love you blogettes, have a good one out there! And remember, stay in the love and in the light, all the details will take care of themselves. Until Next Time, -Olivia

Tests

In life everyone goes through many tests; emotional tests, spiritual tests, and of course the mental tests. Growing up you learn from your parents how to handle all these tests, as well as friends and teachers and peers. When a test arises in your future, you most likely are going to take it the way you were taught to take it, which may not be the easiest or best way to do so. When it comes to emotional tests I am always thrown a curveball with anger. I have no idea how to react to someone who is angry other than be their mirror; I react in anger as well. The energy that is being thrown at me is incomputable, and pure raw emotion. I can be honest in saying much work needs to be done on my reaction times. Tests create results. Results are your proof that you're doing good or you're doing bad (but neither one is better, duality put aside). Through these results we can decide whether our technique needs improvement, or if it is perfect the way it is. If you are closed to change, good things may happen, but the flow will wash over you, and you may drown. If you are open to change, the flow takes you with it, and you are able to swim up stream easily and effortlessly. How you take these tests is all a choice; if you forget your pencil I'm sure someone is there to help you find one. Don't be afraid to ask for help on your test (all of what we learned in school aside, sometimes you NEED help, even if you studied). We never know what's going to be on the test, even if we have a study guide, or a gut feeling; The Devil is in the details. It all comes down to the moment; when you're in the present tense you realize what's actually going on. Once you can see where the currents are going to take you if you choose to react instantly or hang back and observe, your results will turn out based on the action you took to pass the test. Balance. Watch yourself. Watch others. Listen to yourself. Listen to others. It's all balance. The deep answers lie within you, unbury them and utilize them in the real world. Until next time, -Olivia

The Creator

He gave us gifts. Wether we choose to perform them or not is up to us. Theatre, singing, dancing, writing, speaking, leading. All of them are gifts from God. We are now allowing ourselves to take responsiblity for our lives; We are now taking the creative power within our hands. We take responsibility for our lives. We know what we are choosing. We are the decision maker now. God supports us in all of our decisions. Peace, love, gratitude, and joy. All One. All Present. All Life. Creation.

The Past

It's over But the lingering of the time well spent still exists By speaking of the past are we re-creating its existence? Can we let go of the memories and continue to still live on? The past is with us because we want to know what happened was real. Of course it was. Right? Or was it all one big dream? The movie of life continues to twist and turn it's way around the tracks Up, up, up and then the Big Finish Will I be coming back? Maybe. Who Knows. They say life is short. But HELL NAH. Heaven is eternal. Life is eternal. We are eternal beings. We can neither be created nor destroyed We just ARE. All That Is. The trees constitute our existence They don't have to ask the questions we do, though. They know they're real. Trees are Truth. The scar on my chest reminds me of the time I had a couple friends I was there, we did it, and it happened And now I'm here, and I'm doing it, and it's happeneing. All I want to do is hit the pause button. WE'RE GOING TOO FAST. It's all going to be over soon! I might as well enjoy the ride while I'm on it though. The present moment is the power moment The power moment decides your future moment Re-create the same perception, or let it go and allow the One to create for you.

Rooted

Survival of the fittest. Fight of flight. Rooted in the ground. Is there a better way than what our parents taught us? The search is over. We know the truth. The One Life wants us to survive. Offering opportunities. Accepting the doors that have opened. Releasing competition. Coming from a creative place and space. Aqquiring wealth. Colaborating energies twisting. Growing together, yet seperately at the same time. How can we eliminate the fears living through us without accepting them as our own? Healing. The World is for me. The World wants me to succeed. I am for me. I want me to succeed. Manifest destiny. That's what I'll do. And you, and you, and you... do you.

Mother Earth

Mother Earth. Creating the world outside. Owning our bodies. Not being owned by any force. Independent from All That Is. Yet in higher matrimony with God. Center of our galaxy. Are there more of her throughout space? Does her time exist the same in other dimensions? The answers can be revealed. Meditation. Creating a safe space inside my home. Fearful of leaving this vehicle. Death. Lingering around our time and space pretending to be real. We make it real. Reality come from within. Perception can be altered. Who’s perception is it anyway? The reflection we perceive is a representation of the One. Infinite. Light. Love. Death. Destruction. Chaos. Trust. Faith. Patience.

Flow

Flow. Innovation. Creativity. Writing. Putting words together to create an imaginative story. Pressure to perform for my audience. Force from the world to have my voice be heard. Wanting my voice to be heard. Attempting to find the right words to explain my perception. Needing money. Accepting money. Making money out of thin air. Positive affirmations. Rebirth. Death. Transformation. All That Is. Explaining that we are God. Using magic to create my world. The power lies within us. Being a female. Accepting male energy. Continuing forward. Re-creating everything in a positive way. Destroying creative blocks. Loving myself fully. Gaining knowledge. The ephaninies to remember, to attempt to explain. You can’t write it all down. Maybe I should go the other way. Create from within. Find my imaginative side and dream up a story that can collaborate with my life story, thus creating a fantasy. Focusing on my goals. Accepting the way I choose to create my life. Finding new directions. Making decisions. So many choices. Wanting to see all of my options. Disorder. Order. Calamity. Chaos. Listening to myself. Watching for the signs. Mother Earth. Gaia. Go this way. Believing in my creative power. Knowing that I am a famous writer. Accepting that I am a magnificent writer. Accepting that my voice NEEDS to be heard. . Accepting money for my voice. Appreciating my family. Appreciating life. Appreciating my gifts. Knowing where to begin. Deciding where to begin. I start here. I start now.

Control

Power lies within the Heart. Anybody can acess this Divine light, all they have to do is open their eyes. We are here to awaken from the illusion of our seperateness; our hearts are interwined with every person we have every loved; do not think for a second that this statement is false. Love is where we all came from, and the Heart is the Control center for love. It's where Time lies, it's where Space lies, it's where Life lies. The heart is what allows us to live, without its beating we would not be experiencing this. Our mind has control over our Heart, and we can choose who to love and who "not to" love. The Heart gives you everything you want and need in the external and internal world. It can create anything out of thin air if you just allow it to flow through you. The Heart is where Father Son and Mother Earth join together in their love affair; creating unity. The Heart is where music lies; keeping the rhythm of Time beatbeat beatbeat. Our Heart is a choice, just as our parents' we chose this lifetime is a choice, just as who we choose to love based on what we were taught about love is a choice. Once we recoginze the power of our mind, we can tap into our control system, heal what needs to be healed, and save what needs to be saved. We can choose to re-create our Hearts, making them beat slower, faster, in balance, or even to stop beating. Life is a choice, and Death is a decision. Home is where the heart is, and our home is our body.