the process

I have chosen possibly the hardest journey there is to choose in this day and age; the journey to ultimate truth. It's a journey many people have attempted lifetime after lifetime, yet there still seems to be a greater amount of people who absolutely refuse to believe there is a God or higher being at all, than there are to believe there is something. Therefore the question lies in, how can I attempt to explain through words to the world what I know about the world? I guess I should continue on my healing process. There is so much to be said about the past couple days of my life. The conscious changes that have been happening have been phenomenal. It was as though as soon as I let go of all the emotional attachments I was carrying around I found the exact thing I was looking for. Now I'm in a place, a place where I have been before, yet nobody here knows me. I'm uncomfortable in the amount of wealth I am surrounded by. Someone once said to me, if you're not uncomfortable you're not changing. Change is good. I went to San Diego attempting to find wealth in whatever the hell I was searching for, and I came out with 3 new people in my life and in Yuma, Arizona. God sure does work in mysterious ways. I don't really know why I'm here, or what is going to come of it all. Am I running? Not necessarily. Do I know what I'm looking for? Not really. I guess this process is the process of learning trust, and living by the grace of God. It's weird though, once I have surrounded myself by people who have money, I get this feeling in my bones, that I don't belong. More like, they had to work for it,it wasn't just given to them. Why can't we just live? There is a way to do it. I may sound crazy, but I know there is a MYSTICAL way of doing this all. I must tap into it to get what I am actually searching for, which is the truth. WHERE IN THE HELL DID ALL OF THIS WORLD COME FROM? The more and more I read, the more and more I learn, and the more and more I want to keep going. I meditate as much as I can every single day to understand where The Self, or God, came from. It's the "impossible" it's never been done before, but I'm Olivia. I'm up for a challenge. If this is what I signed up for this lifetime, I'm putting all my chips in. Until Next Time, -Olivia