Alright, so bear with me as I try to find out where this feeling is flowing from. I need to get this off my sacral and heart. I feel the block there, and I hear the thoughts, so it's just time for this to go.
Money. Yes, that's right ladies and gents I'm going to talk about the "root of all evil" as some would like to say. But here's the thing... we all want to say "it's not about the money" and I mean I absolutely agree, it's not ALL about the money, but to a certain extent it IS about the money. In fact when I called T-Mobile to see if they would let me do a payment arrangement becasue I won't have money until around the 29th, it was definitely about the money. And when I went to City Cafe the other day to eat before the Writer's Guild, it was defnitely about the money. So with that being said, it's about the fucking money. We all need it to survive, and if we choose not to survive with it, we live a completely different lifestyle. I've lived that lifestyle, and I did experience a certain sense of freedom and abundance while I had none. However I was not "allowed" to experience A LOT because I didn't have money. When I realized that I wanted to travel around the world, go to Hawai'i and see the dragons and walk through time warps, I came to the conclusion that I was going to need some money. I basically had chosen not to give my creative power to the world in the way that they wanted it, and instead I was going to just live off the grid and attempt to heal people on the streets. I felt like a modern day Jesus.... but then I realized what I was capable of. I understood how I could actually hone my healing power, and be able to spread it to EVEN MORE people if I just went back home, went to massage school, got my license and get paid for it... in return I could go to Hawai'i and see what I wanted to see, I could make many connections in the world I may not have been able to make because of my homelessness status I was rocking a little over six months ago.
So here is where I'm at right now. I'm on the road to success, I am going in the direction that I wanted to go, and not only am I starting massage school but I am starting my own business with my dear friend Mike Frazzitta, and we are in the midst of applying for grants to get funding. These great things are happening, and I'm actually getting the chance to fulfill my destiny and passion for life through the monetary system... and it feels great. I'm so excited and so thankful for the many opportunities, but today I realized that I was still living in poverty.... and I realized how DONE I am living in poverty. I live such a limited life, but I am filled with unlimited potential to create my own little heaven on earth. I've been doing abundance meditations, because I know that when we say "it's not about the money", what that really means is "hey, money isn't the only thing that can bring you abundance... let's talk about spirit" and I totally agree with that. I want to feel abundant in my mind, my body, and my spirit, thus creating a holistic way of living. I feel a little bit of stress and pressure because I know that the road that I'm taking will lead my to prosperity and wealth, and I know the pace that I'm taking it will insure that I will be happy and fulfilled on the inside when I get there.... we say that when we have no money "I'm broke" and to a certain extent that's true. Everyone in the entire world has the potential to be infinitely abundant, because all that money represents is faith... we all have faith that this green piece of paper is going to get us exactly what we want in order to satisfy our needs. When we're broke, that means we aren't utilizing all the faith that exists within our heart chakra, we are still enthralled in the dark side of things. I'm not too sure getting rid of the dark side is the answer, and it probably isn't, but I think illuminating the darkness within me will help me achieve in this lifetime.
I know that I am very capable of doing all the things that I want to do in this lifetime, and I know that I have been very honest about the darkness within me, partly because when I'm near or at the top of my game I don't want any "scandals" coming out about my past sabotaging my reputation.... if people already know the choices that I have made, they have no reason to say that I wasn't honest, and I think that's what people want the most out of anybody who is a prestige leader in their community, total honesty. Money brings you a lot of power, and with a lot of power comes a lot of decisions, and with a lot of decisions, you have to know how to make the right choice not only for you but for your peers as well. Ultimately we are all in this together, and the people who gain power are the ones who have worked to find that power within themselves to shine their light the brightest. I want my light to shine as bright as it possibly can.
I was going to talk about how I feel stressed about getting my scrubs in time for school to start, paying my phone bill so it won't be turned off for a week or two, and blah blah blah.... but I don't have time to feed that monster in me that wants to create stress. Soul has already figured out a way to get around it, and now it's my job to tap into that manifesting power and ensure that it won't happen. Taking action is probably the most important thing down here; if we didn't do it, it would never get done. I can't get mad at the people who have the power to take my freedom in this world away.... because obviously I wanted to regain it this way or I wouldn't have come down here this lifetime.
Freedom will be regained. Heaven will be restored. This is the beginning of a revolution.
Until Next Time,