Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Good and the Bad


He came. Micheal showed his beautiful blue eyes to my Chattanooga world and for two days it was absolutely magnificent. I felt the esctacy of our souls joining in love.... but when the feeling wore off, I knew that it wasn't going to be okay. I saw what he required, demanded, and needed from me in order to feel happy and secure in this world. I saw that I couldn't give it to him, I saw that he couldn't give it to him, I saw that he couldn't be a man because he was still trapped in his little boy emotional body. I don't know if me saying goodbye to him was the most painful part of losing my soul mate, or if the fact that he will probably never be the man he is capable of being. It breaks my heart to know that the first man I have ever felt unconditional, compassionate love for was not the man I thought he was...

The point is though, I am going to be okay. Through maturity I am learning that there is a choice between good and bad; there are things out there that will feed the chaos into creating more and more chaos, and when you sink further into the chaos you are no longer making choices for yourself, you are being played. However, when you make the conscious choice to create with the chaos around you, that's when things get better. I am very proud of myself because not only did I make a good decision, but in making that good decision it has allowed me to make even better decision. I took the chaos around me and started making hula hoops; as much as I wanted to dwell in the sadness, I had all the materials that I needed to make them, and he was out of the way, so I just did it. The flow has manifested itself very beautifully this time around, and I am forever grateful of the opportunity that I have to start something great. Liv Love Hoops be sold on our website, (coming soon), etsy account, Chattanooga Market (every Sunday), Chattanooga State and UTC, and during the summer we will be travelling as vendors to the music festivals. As the business continues to grow, we will be allowing you to put in custom-made orders, and you will also have the opportunity to make or own hula-hoop with our materials for only 10$! Liv Love Hoops comes from a place of pure creativity and absolute love of hula hooping! 

They say an end can be a start, and there are some things in my life I can't control... but there are a lot of things I can control, and I am thankful for the power of choice, and the ability, strength, and courage overcome this emotional adversity, and focus on something great. My reputation matters, I want to be seen for who I truly am, not who you may think I am or think I should be. I have a beautiful light being inside of me that is always dying to come out but is not allowed because she is not found yet. Through this process of being pregnant, becoming more grounded, gaining balance and strength, I am beginning to see who I am and what I am truly capable of. I want to continue with this flow of taking action in the direction that I want to go. I want to be focused on the vision board in my room, making all things happen at the right place at the right time. I am surrounded by great people who are definitely willing to help me, and who are willing to support me in my journey. 

I start school in 22 days and I am sooooooooooo very thankful the universe made it so easy for me to get the things I needed in order to fully succeed at school. The gifts just keep flowing as I continue to open and surrender more and more into the true love that exists within. I want to do this life thing the right way, the way that goes with the flow, my true flow, and towards my destiny. 

Things are going to be okay, and I am making healthy choices for my life. I know what's good and what's bad for me. I trust myself with life. 

Until Next Time, 


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