Thursday, April 18, 2013

Break Ups and Make Up

Yesterday was an adventure alright. Have any of your ever been "in love" or at least felt the joy and excitement of the potential of a life partner standing right next to you? Well, I have. I have because I created it... but God works in mysterious ways and always has a trick up his sleeve, and my fairy tale story of the boy I met travelling turned into a Real World episode of the on again off again couple from hell.
At the beginning of the relationship I told some white lies, out of my insecurities of dating a beautiful man 15 years older than me who had much experience in love... and me be a scared 21 year old fresh out of the factory of a lifestyle full of lies and deceit. I was intimidated.
This energy from before had carried on to the now moment and everyday was a day of him saying "don't lie to me, be honest with yourself, stop lying to me..." and it wasn't any different yesterday morning when we woke up in the woods next to one another. The night before had been magical, I knew he and I had both felt the intimacy building between us... and when he handed me the daisy we shared a kiss, a kiss full of love and passion and pure bliss.
His face was stone cold, I knew that he had had a dream about something or other to make him wonder why the hell he was on this earth still. He rolled over... "this is just life, it's going to be okay, we've already created it" I nodded "yeah, it's just another human being's life" We looked deep into eachother's eyes, I knew he was blocking the connection. "Well, I won't be with you anymore today... let's get you home". We gathered our things, (his things, because all of my stuff got stolen off the side of the road after me naively leaving it there) and walked to the entrance of the highway. I began dancing and sticking my thumb out, and he sat down on his bag. Just to Gainsville, just to Gainsville, that's as far as we need to go and then we can split up. He came up to me "my name's Olivia and I'm a lying, manipulative, control freak" taunting me. I shook my head and raised my eye brows, I didn't want to react. Peace is always my ultimate goal. "When are you going to stop, we're not in a relationship anymore" I pushed him away. I wanted to hit him the face, he told me to, he grabbed his bags and started walking on the highway. I followed. "Get the fuck away from me, I don't want to be anywhere near you"
I let him walk aways ahead of me, until he hopped the bridge and headed into the woods. I leaned over the ledge once I had reached where he had been and said "Bye, thank you for everything".
I was determined to get to my destination, after two weeks of sadness and grief, good music and good food, the ocean, and a shit ton of healing, i was tired and ready to get the fuck home.
I began walking down the highway, singing the good songs from my heart, telling myself that I was protected and everything was going to be okay. Fuck that guy, I didn't need him to do it anyway. The hitch-hiking Gods worked quickly, and within minutes I was in the car with a nice older woman and her dog. We discussed what had just happened, she told me "there are plenty of other fish in the sea" but I wasn't too concerned about the fact that I had just been dumped on the side of a highway in South Florida, I was focused on getting home. I controlled my emotions as best I could, telling myself that it's all going to work out, believing that it's all going to work out.
My heart dropped when she told me I had to get out at the rest stop, but I didn't let it ruin my spirit. I sat down on a bench, and started taking action. I asked four people, and then a good ol' southern church-goin' blondie walked up and said "Get in, i'll take you where you need to go". Never in my life had I appreciated southern hospitality so much. Her name was Alicia, she was taking her 8 year old son to a doctor's appointment. "So Olivia, how old are you?" she asked swerving in and out of the fast lane. "I'm 22" my emotions were running wild, but I didn't want to play the sob story that was going on inside me outside of me so I acted normal. "Oh, 22. I remember those days. So I'm an independent sales consultant for Mary Kay and this year is our 50th anniversary, and we're looking for new sales associates". Was this really happening right now? I went with the flow, and just listened to her sales pitch. I painted a picture in my head of what it would look like if I became a Mary Kay sales woman... Walking down to Sorority Row in Chattanooga with my kit in hand, ready to paint faces for the young sorostitutes. Next reality please. She gave me two dollars and dropped me off close enough to the megabus for me to walk. I asked a couple people how to get there, and the directed me in the way. Stopping in a physics building on the campus of University of Florida to get some water, then finding a chalk board blank and ready for me to write "God is Love" on it. I thought it was funny to write about God in a physics building, granted all physicists may or may not have a concept of God and are more interested in the details of God rather than the love he is. By the time I got to the bus stop I had come up with a master plan to tell the bus driver that all of my things had been stolen, and I needed to get home, is there any way you could just let me on the bus. I ran it over with a couple of people, and they seemed to support my idea. Then an older couple sat down and their banter caught my attention. The man said "I'm sorry I'm not perfect" and of course me being open, loving, graceful Olivia I said "You're absolutely perfect the way you are" he smiled and laughed, and I told the woman she was perfect too. They asked me what I was doing and where I was going, and through the conversation the woman said she would buy me a bus ticket.
God works in mysterious ways, even though everything had fallen apart with me and my man friend I learned so much about myself and my gift.
God has given each of us a gift, and that gift is our true creative essence, and through that gift we perform God grants our every wish. My gift is love, my gift is healing love, and through this healing love I am going to create a product. The product is going to be Hula Hoops. Healing Hoops is now my main focus in life, despite the drama and bullshit of the relationship I just got out of, something great and amazing came from it all.
All people are good, everyone needs love, and when you are patient, hopeful, and believe that everything is going to work out it always will.
Until next time,

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