Wednesday, May 15, 2013

and it's been a while

Well folks,

I'm still here. Don't you worry. I've just been MIA for a while; lost in the book Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. A great one, I might ad. I just finished and let me tell you this. The destruction of my ego began when I asked to know my creator back in July of 2012. I had no idea that what I was really asking for was to awaken to my life's purpose. I ran away from home with my friend Kalika, (as many of you know) and I began what I like to call the journey of loving myself. Which quickly turned into the journey of discovering the One Life through many trials and tribulations, and eventually coming home and realizing I could have done it all here, but I had chosen the way to heal my mother's karma... which again was something that I asked for. But let's not go too far back, let me tell you where I Am right now. Awakening to the Essene of spirit within me, becoming true to my life's purpose, noticing the synchronicity of life, witnessing the awe and utter complete joy of Oneness in all aspects, killing my old emotional body, transforming into a peaceful, gentle, loving, compassionate, truthful human being. It's difficult to communicate a journey that is so intensely internal to the external world, which is most likely why Jesus' scriptures and teachings were completely misunderstood.  God, Spirit, Oneness, Universal Power, whatever you want to call it is Consciousness. Consciousness is the universe, and awareness is being conscious of the consciousness. Listening to your thoughts, recognizing the emotional triggers in your body, no longer identifying with form. Form is all the physical world, all the emotional world, and all that is down here on earth that us humans just LOVE to identify with. God is formless. God is spirit. God is one. God is me and you put together in a big, giant swimming pool, becoming the water that flows. Words are meaningless. Thoughts are meaningless. The ego (poison) has somehow attached itself to all of this world around us, creating struggle, strife, pain, and suffering. The ego must be destroyed. How you ask? No longer identify with the voice in your head that says "I am this..." and "I am that....", because in all honesty my friends, that's not even who you are, and that sure as hell isn't who I am either. Separateness. The paradox. Form and formless coming together and creating in the same space. God and human body becoming one, manifesting creation through the physical world. Like Tolle said in his book, either you get it or ya don't... and it's really just that simple. The frustrating part (and I shouldn't even say frustrating, more so paradoxical) for "me" is I get it. I understand it. I accept. I Am that I Am. The stillness shakes me, the creative energy flows through my fingertips, my mouth, I have knowledge of what it's like to be God's instrument... I know what it feels like. Feeling. Feeling Spirit. Feeling God. Feeling One. Peace. "I give unto my peace". I'm here now. I'm here at this point, this "crossroad" pursay? I am ready to die once more. I am ready to jump in the water, the mystery of the unknown, because let's face spirit can give me as many clues as possible... and being in sync with these clues definitely helps me to see the future, clairvoyance is a gift I get to experience this lifetime, but even then it's still a mystery. When clairvoyance prevails  and I do know the outcome of a situation, I instantly have to destroy ego before ego destroys the One's presence within my body. A friend of mine asked, "what is the ego, why is it here, I don't get it" and I have asked the same question as well. In all honesty it gives me this utter sheer of disgust when I recognize it, an instant block in my solar plexus comes up and I want to throw up. I don't know why ego is here, and it is not my job to know why... but I have heard some pretty good hypothesis. Spirit Science the first episode, explains that God is Spirit, and Spirit can do whatever the hell it wants because it created Itself thus manifesting the universe and everything in it, and one day (if that even exists in spirit world) Spirit decided to split in two, thus creating the counter-part of Itself, the ego. I go with this one. Spirit wanted to experience more of itself, Spirit wanted a way to identify with form, Spirit created ego. And now I'm here. I realize how much suffering I've endured lifetime after lifetime after lifetime because of ego, and I'm tired. I'm tired of it. I'm done. I'm done with pain body, I'm done with ego, I'm done with the jealousy, the sadness, the anger (of course), the suffering... I'm done. And once I reach this point, I turn the other cheek, and I invite the true Spirit, the One Spirit into my life. Ego is an imposer, a "wannabe" God, but the truth is ego can never be what Spirit is... and that hurts little ego. Everyday she tries, and everyday she fails. She "tries" to awaken, or she "tries" to know the truth, but her "trying" isn't trying at all, its road blocks being thrown up because she is mad that she's not God. She's not One. She's nothingness. No-thingness. Her little identifications bring her slight satisfaction, eventually turning into turmoil and haste. Ego wants this and that and this and that and this and that... but what she doesn't realize that her wants are not real. Ego wants, but ego doesn't even know what she really needs. By surrendering, awakening to the power of the One within this body, I have found truth, I found satisfaction, I have purpose. I am a gift, you are a gift. I share my gift with you. I start massage school on August 24th, I cannot wait to allow the One to create healing for all who cross my path this lifetime. I highly suggest whoever is out there reading this ask God to show itself to you, and through that asking you will awaken. Christiantiy, Buddhism, Hinduism, Muslimism, they're all a part of the whole, not one teacher was able to effectively explain the phenomena of Spirit, and the truth is, Spirit must be experienced by the experiencer; awareness is a choice just as much as unawareness is. Ask questions, go down that spiritual road, BREAK the mold of your egoic spiritual teachings, become One with Spirit, become one with True Essence. Until Next Time, -Olivia

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