being honest with myself toward a friend

I went off on a tanget after a very good friend of mine called me out on some of the behavior that I have portrayed within the past year, and past some. Sometimes it's hard to be completely honest with yourself when you get into a habit that you've gotten comfortable in, but honesty helps you find a way out; creates the space for you to change and grow and become something more. Honestly money is a basic need, and as much as we all "hate" it, we must love it somehow because it allows us to direct, respect, and understand giving and reciving in a way we may never have if the power of money was not here. Money is our way of sharing life, money is our exchange, money is a truth, power is a truth. Boundaries need to be created, money creates the boundaries of what's safe and what's not safe, I wanted to know how to play well with my money, so I took a break, I let it go for a while, I wanted to understand the emotions, because I knew that's what I was experienicng with money, I wanted to understand the experience, but I now realize I can live the experience AND understand it at the same time. My inutition (creative energy, which tells me which way to go) is undergoing transformation, and has been for quite some time. I now am understanding, accepting, and changing the way I am going to experience life... and honestly it is absolutely for the better. It is such a liberating feeling to know that I can experience both at the same time. I can be free, I know longer have to put myself in an impovrished state, I can save my money, I can cut back on things that I think I need to taste, I can be fulfilled in what I already have- because honestly I got a lot, and I want to share the BEST me,  the most vibrant, radiant, truthful human being I can be... i want to share my true gift of spiritual speaking, massage, reiki, for the future, and for the now I want to spead my true self in the best way I can, and I know that working at a call center, calling people and asking them to take surveys, or working at a cafe in T-mobile is what I'm going to need to do, because there is A LOT I need to learn about reality, and how to do it well, with as many bumps as possible. I want to be smooth with my money, I wanted to experience full balance with my financial abilities. Here's the letter I wrote to my friend Amanda. I am so very quickly moving through this because the time is now, I'm growing a human inside of me that needs me, and hell I NEED ME TOO! I need for me to express myself creatively, I'm going crazy sitting at home! I know that time has come and I am ready to work!! I'm ready to share! I'm ready live in two worlds at once. Money always gives us what we need,  nobody denys money; which is a representation of God, always giving us what we need. Through taking control of our creative power, and harvesting it through the gift God gave us, we are now taking control of our body, we are listening to our body, and it is telling us what to do with our money, and the great part about it is God is still there! God has given us the guidelines through thought, through spirit, through our higher self to know what we need and don't need! I accept that us humans are all still learning, and that many things that I have accepted as true are not as such, however I know that the truth is within me. I know that I am able to go with the flow! I am taking the nessecary steps toward my goals. I am starting exactly where I need to be. I appreciate all that I am able to learn right now. <3 <3 <3 <3 Until Next Time, -Olivia