Outlet

I keep having these dreams. It's usually right before I'm going to wake up; I'm a place that I have been before, and mostly the dream is dealing with something that I have been wanting to change about myself, and i am just now recognizing in this moment that the dream is going in chronological order of how things happened to me last summer. I guess you could call it a reoccurring dream... the scene is different but my actions all, well completely inactive really. I am put into a comatose state of  the mouth, my tongue swells up like a big gum ball (i'm still able to breathe) and I can't talk. I can still here my thoughts though, and the first couple of times this happened I told myself that I was going to be okay. But then there is a voice whispering in my ear. Last night in my dream I was getting my job back at Panera Bread, my old managers were there, my old friends were there, and then the girl that I got in trouble with last summer at the Khol's was there. I was walking behind her, I said "Hi _____". She stopped and dropped her head back, in despair "Oh shit. Hi Olivia". I went to go clock in and we exchanged words something or other about how I'm completely over what ever the hell "happened" last summer (and honestly we all created it to be something so dramatic and upsetting, but in reality it was just fucking happening) and that I was taking the blame for the charges she should have had too, and that it was all going to be fine. I started walking away, and that's when it happened. I hit the floor in my dream, I couldn't move. I was afraid because I was at work and I needed to be doing other things; my tongue swell up like a gum ball again, and this time I was completely parched, I was in need of water, so badly. I attempted to open my eyes, call for help, asking for someone to get me water. Because of all this fear, I missed part of the message that was being said to me... but the end was something or other about working a minimum wage job just to pay for something that I did, and she did... I felt revenge and anger, but I knew the message was important. I finally was able to get up after what felt like forever, and I looked at my fellow co-workers, acting as if nothing had just happened. "Yeah, I saw you down there... but you looked okay". I dazefully walked back to the locker to get a drink, walking around the long way to avoid seeing the girl who I had gotten in trouble with. As I reached the locker, I found water, and I chugged. Then I woke up. When I was in Florida with my baby daddy we met a man, a man who spoke prophetically of this time and age, and what was going to happen. He said that we would be forced to be silent, and our ears would open up more widely. This is what has been happening to me in my dreams. I am forced to be silent, and I am forced to hear at least the most important part of what is being said to me. He said this would be spirit's way of letting us know that it will be coming down again soon... In my dream I keep searching for some sort of outlet not to listen, but sometimes when I have had this dream I was able to relax, and just hear what was being said, and sometimes I would just be moving, walking, not forced to lay down with my eyes closed. It's as if sometimes I'm attempting to merge two worlds into one, the dream world and reality, my mind is attempting to make them one. That's what Oneness is, this separation of subconscious and conscious was not always, and now as a single person I am attempting to merge the two back together, to create One. I am not the only one in the world doing this, but I have just become Aware, in this moment in time of what is really going on. But in order for these worlds to merge, I must first heal down here, in return healing up there. I am not too sure why my tongue has to swell up and I sometimes I have to be in the dark, but I'm just going to say this; I do believe our dreams have much more of a meaning than a lot of people would say they do. I cannot say what's going to happen within the next fifty years, but I can be certain that humanity is going to change drastically, and for the better. I say this with confidence, and hope my outlet of writing will awaken someone who is not yet to the reality of the spirit realm and the dream world. Until Next Time, -Olivia