First and foremost I love you very much for all the little things you do, and you are utterly and always noticed and appreciated in positive ways. There are some things that you do that make it harder on you, and you do them anyway because you feel like you have to cross the boundary so you know that it REALLY is there, and also so you know that you exist. People notice you when you cross boundaries, trust that one. You don't have to give me any explanations as to why you've crossed the boundaries, but you also need to do what Bahar just said... use the limitations that you have and created unlimitedness with them.
You have a job ego, and your job is to simply produce and create the gift that God has given you this lifetime, and through being aligned with that higher power deep within you, you can actually do even more! You must first start with the one job that you were given, and then go from there. You need to get good at your job. So here is going to be an easier way for you and I to communicate. I know you have a lot of things to say, and I know sometimes you just want to tune out because you don't want to listen to the chaos you caused through crossing a boundary, which then leads to guilt, shame, and ultimately negative emotions, which I get.... so let me help you. Allow me to be your guide:
You have gotten really good at paying attention more closely and remembering names; today when you were counting money, it was a lot easier than before, and I was really proud of you. You didn't freak out when you didn't have a ride home, and you made the best of it when Michelle told you not to get stuff on her computer... I know one of the questions you have is "why does it matter if stuff gets on things" and I've never given you an answer, but also because you didn't want to listen... you hear your mom's voice (because she was the one who told you this), and you don't respect your mom's voice. You said so yourself tonight, "yeah my mom's a bitch" and in all honesty, she kind of is. She creates a very bitchy personality for herself, and you have had to deal with that your whole life. You say you don't care, but you also don't realize how that has hindered you to learn respect for other people's things. So here is the first rule I have for you, and this is a part of our contract.
1. Be Mindful
My job as your higher self is to keep you safe, and to lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, so in return I want you to be mindful; in order for me to work for you, you have to work for yourself too. It's the gift that doesn't stop giving... so keep giving to yourself, and be mindful of the amount of food you consume, the actions you portray to others, take it slowly if you have to. Appreciate every bite you get, and appreciate all the clothes you have. Part of being mindful is recognizing that the material you are wearing represents YOU to the world; your appearance matters. What you show to the world is what you show to yourself, and if you want to see yourself as the person you see yourself on the inside, become that person! BE MINDFUL.
2. Always Show Respect For Others
No matter the circumstance, if you are wrong or right (or even when you're in the phase of "well I know that I'm right) show respect for other people's creations, show respect for the being that they are, place nice. It's not fair to create jealousy, anger, angst, or irritation... be grateful that you have the chance to use others' tools to create your life, and be grateful that there is another being to appreciate your creative work!!! Be thankful you can share your gift and you don't have to just know you can do all these awesome things, and just not do them!!!
3. know that you're always taken care of
You will, no matter what, always have everything that you need, and that is not a dream that you need to wake up from. You can live in the fantasy as long as you want to, because that is what keeps you safe from attacking yourself.... I must say, that you've done such a good job at the whole surrender thing, and it's only getting better baby girl. No matter what, you will never ever have to worry about anything, because no matter what you may "think" you're creating, I am always one step ahead, and everything that you need to know will be revealed to you in a timely manner... trust that I know what you CAN and CANNOT handle.... allow me to be the judge sometimes, you don't always have to be your own worst critic, because in reality that hurts you.
I love you little ego, you are my pride and joy and I want you to thrive, I want you to become everything, I want you to share your gift with the world. Reiki and Massage are AMAZING gifts and you are SOOOOOOO lucky to be gifted with those healing powers. Use them to your advantage, and allow me to do the rest.
Your Higher Self