well, i guess this is growing up.

Responsibilities.
What are they? Where did they come from? Why did we make them? And where is there such a heavy feeling of guilt when one does not complete a said responsibility? How do we know what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility?
Starting at the home, based on what my parents told me there were a lot of rules and regulations, but I was never told why there were these rules and regulations, which constituted responsibility. Let me give you guys an example.
My roommate's laptop got stolen from our apartment the other day, and I was the last one to use it. I was using it outside and he came home, and just as the laptop died I put it in my hand and brought it inside. About eight hours later he asked me where the laptop was, and it was nowhere to be found... I instantly felt a wave of guilt hit me, and I didn't know what to do but get angry. I yelled and asked God what to do, and it has taken me up until this moment to realize this; that I am not responsible for anybody else's problems but mine in the sense that it is not my job to fix other people's problems for them. Let me break it down.
I have this theory, and the theory goes like this. The apple that Adam and Eve ate from the tree was what brought about sin, but instead of calling it sin I'm going to call it the taste of life, which transfers into the emotions our mind creates for our body. Tasting life is the luxury that was given to us after Adam and Eve ate the apple... and through that Heaven and Earth were divided inside of our consciousness as well as our physical world, thus creating Babylon (i.e: the material world). Eating the apple was a necessary evil, and the consequences were heavy; the oneness of life was lost, thus duality began. Morals of what is right and what is wrong, who is good and who is bad, became a social normality, and now it's 2013 and the Indigo Children are here to restore Heaven once more. Thus I beg the question, is responsibility just a part of the duality; is it necessary to take on others' responsibilities because they need your help and you feel guilty for receiving help from them so you do it for them? Is that stunting their growth process as a human being?
If I were God this is what I would say to me: "Olivia, for so long you've taken on being responsible for your mother's sadness, and although it is important to repay your debt of gratitude to your parents, you are already doing so by healing your body. Your mother lives through you, and you do not have to make it your soul responbilitiy to take on her darkness's, and others alike, to heal them. You are not the cause of everything in everybody's life, they are manifesting their life as well, and although you can be an influence, it is their choice to accept the energy and apply it to their own life. You can not apply life to other's life... you're one person. Take responsibility for yourself, and the rest will follow".
So as far as responsibility goes when I make a commitment to something I want that commitment to be for me as well as the benefit of others... I want to be considerate of myself, and realize that I am not Jesus Christ (quite yet) and I do have my own healing process to go through. We all have our own healing processes to go through, and the best way to help is by supporting one another, and allowing Divine wisdom to guide us. It is through this that we will achieve the goal that we are all aiming toward. I'm going toward the light, I'm living in the love, I'm allowing my creative energy to flow and I am ready to go!
Until next time,
-Olivia